


You Can Have Me

by Spookyscaryspiderman



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel Deserves Better (Supernatural), Castiel is Saved from the Empty (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Deserves to be Happy, Fix-It, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:49:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29038917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spookyscaryspiderman/pseuds/Spookyscaryspiderman
Summary: Dean is in heaven, but he's missing a certain someone.Just a small little destiel finale fix-it so apologies for any mistakes i don't write many fanfics lol but i hope you enjoy!
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	You Can Have Me

Here he is again, in heaven. The number of times Dean has been here is still unknown to him, though this time he knows for sure will be the last. But one thing Dean feels as he stands here on this bridge leaning forward against the white railing, is that it's different. It's hard to explain but he can feel the change- Jack's change. It's not made up of memories anymore, but rather just a more peaceful version earth with no big threats or monsters to kill but one where he can visit Bobby or the Roadhouse, and in the future Sam. 

It's pure peace, something Dean was never fully able to achieve when he was alive. It surrounds him and fills him up- almost. There's one person, who the thought of them keeps him from being fully rested. And no its not Sam, because Dean knows he will be here soon only after- Dean hopes- Sam has lived a long life. It's Cas, who is for all Dean knows, still trapped in the Empty. And that thought alone fills Dean with a sense of guilt and shame- if he can even still feel those emotions here in heaven- for being safe and at peace here while Cas suffers in that hell-hole suffering unknown torture that he doesn't deserve. He wonders if maybe Jack can do something, if there's a way Dean could get his attention to ask. Or maybe he's just grasping at nothing and that he should just accept that this is how it ended, Cas sacrificing himself so that Billie can be stopped and they could go on to defeat Chuck.

Lost in his thoughts, Dean doesn't sense the new presence behind him - seems like heaven is already changing him. He startles when a hand gently rests on his shoulder. Surprised at the sudden company, Dean wonders if maybe more time has passed than he realized and that when he turns he’ll see his baby brother. 

“Hello, Dean.” But that's not Sammy's voice. Dean turns around quickly and freezes. It's Cas, standing there in front of him and his hand is still resting on Dean's shoulder. 

“Cas? Wha- how- is this really you or did I just make you up, like some sorta heaven-granting wish?” Dean is really hoping it's not just a fake Cas, and that somehow he's here in the flesh- or, well, as much ‘in the flesh’ you can be in heaven. 

“No, this is no illusion. I am really here,” Cas replies and as if to prove to Dean his realness, he slides his hand down from Dean's shoulder to squeeze firmly at the hand print he left there all those years ago. 

“How did you get out? From the Empty I mean, I thought I would never see you again.” Dean feels relief but he also can't help but be cautious on how Cas is now here in heaven.

“It was Jack, he got me out. He brought me here so that we could be together, and to help rebuild heaven into a better place. I am not sure how much time I truly spent in the Empty but when he brought me out, Jack told me you had just arrived. And so I came to see you.” Cas let go of Deans arm and stepped closer to him.

“Wow I mean i'm really happy that Jack got you out, Cas. It was startin’ to get a bit lonely up here, what with Sammy still kickin’ and breathin’ down there,” Dean joked, but it was awkward almost. He had so much he wanted and needed to say, but as always he couldn't. But Cas was here, he was safe and real and realizing that, Dean felt so much relief he leapt forward and engulfed Cas in a fierce hug. 

“I too, am happy and grateful to Jack for what he did for not only me but for you as well here in heaven.” 

Dean released his hold on Cas but instead of ending the hug with an awkward pat on the shoulder or stepping away as he usually does, Dean stayed in Cas’ space. He could sense that Cas was cautiously avoiding bringing up what he had confessed to Dean right before the Empty came. But Dean needed to say something about it, something that he was always too scared to let himself think about for years. And Cas was back and Dean had already missed too many opportunities to tell Cas his truth. 

“Uh Cas, listen, about what you said to me before the Empty-” Cas was quick to cut Dean off. 

“Dean, what I said I meant it, I always will. And I am glad I told you.” Cas was becoming almost defensive the way he was staring him down unapologetic, and Dean knew he really needed to say his truth now.

“I'm glad you told me too!” He blurted out quite graceless. Cas wore a shocked expression, and since he had not indicated he was going to interrupt again, Dean collected his jumbled thoughts best he could and continued on. “Listen Cas, I'm terrible at saying what I really feel- hell I can probably count on one hand the amount of times I've opened up to someone. But I'm done Cas, I'm done lying to myself and pushing down and ignoring what i want. After you were taken Cas, I was a mess and confused with what you confessed. I was confused because I had never let myself think about you and what you truly mean to me and when I lost you to the Empty I-” Dean had to blink back the tears that were threatening to fall. “I felt remorse. God! Cas you were so brave to tell me how you felt. When you were gone I sat in that room for hours, I knew that I had to accept that I wasn't gonna see you again, that there would be no way to get you out. But the only thing I could think about was how selfless your sacrifice was for us and how I was too much of a coward to ever tell you how I felt.” 

“Dean, what are you trying to say?” The look on Cas’ face was serious but Dean could see the hope in his eyes. And that look stopped Deans rambling. 

“Son of a bitch, i'm trying to say I love you too.” Fed up, Dean reached forward grasping at the collar of Cas’ trench coat and kissed him hard. Momentarily surprised by the action Cas stood still, not believing this was happening but when Dean lightly tugged on his collar Cas kissed him back just as fierce. Dean broke the kiss shortly after but didn't move to let go of Cas, only leaned his forehead against his. 

“You told me that happiness wasn't in the having, that you found it in just being. But Cas, now that we’re here together you can have it, you can have me. You bring me happiness too Cas, you always have.”


End file.
